The father of psychoanalysis thoroughly left a legacy in the history of psychology by expressing the idea that only men and extremely rarely women can be fetishists. This is because fetishism as a phenomenon occurs in little boys who are frightened when they see female genitalia for the first time. And then a strong attraction to some object, role or part of the body becomes their psychological strategy for experiencing the castration complex.
Lorraine Gamman, professor of design at the University of the Arts London, and Merja Makinen, an expert on 20th-century feminist literature, argue in Feminine Fetishism that phallocentric psychoanalytic discourse has reserved fetishes for men. But in the 21st century it needs to be introduced into the female field, they say.
To do this, we asked our readers to take a survey and tell us about their “things.” 1871 girls took part in it: 62.3% heterosexual, 31.6% bisexual and 2.9% homosexual, the remaining 3.2% were undecided or pansexual. We have recorded their most popular fetishes.
Various practices and variations of BDSM
55% of respondents wrote about BDSM. The most popular were strangulation, tying up, humiliation, fake rape and spanking. The vast majority of responses represented the woman’s victimized position. And every fourth was accompanied by explanations “only with my consent” and “I don’t accept this in life.”
Psychology professor Joe Magliano tried to explain people's desire to obey. He interviewed submissives and dominants about how they felt before and after sessions, plus measured their physiological parameters. Both bottoms and tops said that after sex they felt a stronger sense of intimacy and became more relaxed, meaning their level of psychological stress decreased. But at the same time, cortisol increased in the lower ones, which indicated the presence of severe physical stress.
Maybe subs and doms experience different sensations, the researchers suggested and invited switches into the experiment, who could participate in the session from both the position of the bottom and the top.
The subs experienced temporary hypofrontality, which means that the activity of certain parts of the brain was temporarily reduced, especially the one responsible for pain. Plus, a feeling of euphoria appeared, time was distorted, there was a feeling of “here and now” - the dream of all meditators. Dominants, on the contrary, were focused on completing the task. But both states are pleasant, so the researchers suggested that they may well motivate people to return to such practices.
Psychologists explain the passion for BDSM games by the fact that this is an opportunity for a person to relieve himself of all responsibility, shift it to a partner whom you trust, and relax in such a simple way. This idea is also supported by sex-positive feminists who advocate BDSM. For example, Gail Rubin writes in Deviance: “Most people confuse their sexual preferences with a universal system that should work for everyone.” In general, the fact that women like the role of the victim in bed does not always mean that she supports sexism or dreams of making the game her everyday reality - she just may want to switch.
Dream Interpretation - Legs
Having dirty feet is a nuisance. Wiping them when entering a house is a gift. Washing them is a joy, a journey. Smearing them with something is a journey. Having very long legs is a benefit for men, a nuisance for women, frivolity for everyone. Having crooked legs is a benefit recognize enemies, outwit them. Having swollen legs - loyalty of friends and help from them. Having very thick legs - joy. Very thin legs - grumpiness of loved ones. Having one crooked or lame leg - misfortune, illness of loved ones / harm from inaction. Hurt your legs badly - danger from superficiality. To get a splinter or cut - excessive liveliness of character, the danger from this / lack of caution. Walking on crutches - a new “apprenticeship”, you have to learn something again. Breaking a leg - the collapse of love hopes. Breaking both legs - death awaits you in a foreign land. To have prostheses instead of legs - the road ahead / to live in other people's thoughts / to live as a parasite. To see how your legs are cut off - to be in bad company and not notice it. To receive someone else's legs - help, support. To have a leg with a hoof - to show evil will. To have legs as if filled with lead is an inertia of mental life and harm from this. To have huge feet is to hesitate in vain. To see your legs covered in scales, with scabs is an image of your sins and remnants that drag you to degradation. To see beautiful ones in a dream legs - yearning for the joys of love. For a man, obsessive dreams about women's legs - speak of hidden homosexual tendencies in him. For women - dreams in which they obsessively take care of their own legs have the same meaning. .
Male body parts
The second most popular (18%) female fetish is hands, both male and female. Mostly the girls wrote about long fingers, protruding veins, and licking the hands of their partner. One can speculate that hands are most often visible and, in principle, convenient to look at, but there are no scientific studies about this fetish.
In terms of frequency of mentions, men's buttocks and legs do not catch up with fingers and veins, but 2.9% of women indicated these body parts as their passion.
A study by University of California psychology professor Kerry Johnson found that male buttocks that were too large were perceived by heterosexual survey participants as an expression of hypermasculinity, while male buttocks that were too flat were perceived as an expression of femininity. But the middle ground—lean and medium-sized—were the most attractive to women because they reflected an optimal level of masculinity. On the other hand, if we move away from gender optics, then the basic tactile sensations from tense parts of the body can indeed be very pleasant, be it the body of a man or a woman.
Why men love women's feet
Another researcher, Leon Selzer, also conducted research, during which a huge amount of work on human biology and evolution was studied. However, the answer was not found, and the doctor began to study the topic deeper to understand why men still like women's feet.
It became known that a girl does not have to be tall. A man can admire not only the legs in general, but also the feet and toes.
Selzer determined that watching beautiful women's legs allows male fetishists to achieve a visual orgasm. For these men, feet and toes can be just as sexy as butts and breasts.
The reasons why foot fetish and love for women's feet and toes arise are varied. First of all, this is explained by the desire to receive aesthetic pleasure. A man can consider a woman’s legs to be a sexual part of the body and receive true pleasure from looking and touching. In this case, the man can become very excited, as a result of which, if the woman wishes, sexual intercourse occurs between the lovers.
It’s not just the feet and toes that matter, but the legs as a whole. It is interesting that women, feeling attention to themselves and their legs, begin to “mock” the man, exposing them and attracting even more attention to themselves.
Women wear short skirts, highlight their legs with heels, wear open-toed shoes and sandals - all this primarily in order to attract the opposite sex and arouse sexual desire.
The fascination with women’s legs is largely provoked by popular culture, because in modern media the female figure is fully demonstrated, and most often men see beautiful and sexy legs in advertising of dresses, shoes, and even in ordinary advertising of kefir.
However, sexual interest in women's legs and feet appears much earlier - in adolescence, during puberty. Interestingly, a foot fetish can also arise due to strong childhood impressions, for example, if a kindergarten teacher wore beautiful shoes.
A foot fetish is not something strange, it is just an unusual manifestation of a man’s sexual desire.
Big difference in age
5% of heterosexual and bisexual women told us that they are attracted to older men (the difference starts at 10 years old).
Based on Freud's work, psychologist Olga Kuznetsova explains this attraction by the lack of a close connection with the father, or his complete absence in the child's life. She also sees one of the reasons as the unfinished separation process: the girl flew out of her parent’s nest without breaking the umbilical cord and landed in the nest of her new guardian. These guesses can also apply to homosexual relationships, only the father figure needs to be replaced by the mother.
Professor Medellin Fugger, in The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, looks at this from an evolutionary biological perspective. A man views a young girl as a fertile individual who bears offspring, and a woman chooses an older male because he has more resources (read living space and money) to feed these offspring.
Another hypothesis, which was confirmed in her study by Katherine Tidenberg, a professor at Tallinn University, is that women like the dominance of an adult man. Since he has had more time to develop his intellect, gain status, and accumulate material wealth, he is in a higher position. Some girls in our survey mentioned the role-playing game DD/LG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl), in which they are cared for, praised, but also educated: if she does something bad, she receives physical punishment from daddy. Essentially, this is the same BDSM, only in different settings.
Interpretation depending on the gender of the dreamer
A dream in which a woman or girl washed her dirty feet foreshadows the appearance of enemies who will try to turn close people against her, thereby ruining the sleeping woman’s reputation.
Seeing the dirty feet of your beloved man is a sign of disappointment in him. Most likely, the dreamer will become a victim of her partner’s betrayal, but will not part with him because of great love.
For a married woman, a dream in which she washes her husband's dirty feet is a sign that she really lacks the attention and love of her husband. In addition, the vision may indicate betrayal on his part.
If a woman washes someone’s unkempt and dirty toes in a dream, then in reality she will face financial problems.
If a man had a dream about dirty feet, it means that he will soon have a romantic date with a new acquaintance. However, after some time, the man will be disappointed in his partner and the relationship will fall apart.
Dreaming of washing dirty feet is a good sign for businessmen. The dreamer will always be surrounded by reliable comrades and partners.
A uniform
5% of girls named uniforms as their fetish. Most said that they were turned on by military or police uniforms. For some reason, psychologists pay little attention to this “sticking.” But Drs Bugra and De Silva of the University of Psychiatry in London looked at the function of the outfit and its connection to sexual fantasies and fetishism. They write that uniforms can be sexually attractive simply because they are stylish, such as the uniform of the Italian Carabinieri. But the authors also argue that it can represent authority, experience, care, punishment and the personality itself. Plus the shape can add believability to role-playing. If a masochist wants to be ordered to do something, then an order from a partner in a military uniform will be like an electric shock to his sympathetic nervous system.
The girls who wrote in the survey that they were aroused by the uniform of the security forces tried to explain their predilection by saying that it exudes power and authority. Which confirms the theory of psychologists about the representation of functions. Moreover, the uniform was not the only fetish in any of the answers; it was always accompanied by some kind of BDSM practice or mention of dominance, coercion and humiliation. That is, the fetishization of the form was an addition to their desire to be in a submissive role.
Thin and tall
Slightly fewer women (4.4%) identified the image of a tall, thin or asthenic man as the most attractive and called it their fetish. Evolutionary studies say that women choose men who are taller than average and athletic (but not oversized) because they subconsciously see them as potential carriers of good genes and a caring father of the family.
The same study says that women are less attracted to "jocks" because testosterone makes them hypermasculine.
They may be more aggressive and less stable in family affairs, therefore, only the woman will have to take care of the genetically promising offspring.
How to get rid of rough skin at home
You can entrust the removal of rough skin to a professional or do it yourself at home. In the second case, you will need the following tools:
- Abrasive file for feet : roller or standard fine-grained grater.
- Scrub : We recommend natural salt-based scrubs, as they have an anti-inflammatory and restorative effect, while simultaneously cleansing and softening the skin.
- Moisturizing or nourishing foot cream : pay attention to products with aloe, panthenol, shea butter and shea butter.
- Foot bath : salt and oils in the bath take care of the skin, relieve fatigue and swelling, promote the healing of calluses, and also prepare the feet for exfoliation.
- Moisturizing socks or foot mask : an optional but very pleasant foot care product that moisturizes and softens calluses.
To summarize, we can distinguish 5 main stages of caring for rough skin on the feet.
Lingerie and stockings
Typically, stockings and lingerie are considered male fetishes. Moreover, there are entire businesses selling used items of underwear. One American website promises a stable income of $200 a day. And on Youtube you can find tips from professionals on how to quickly sell your panties and earn money for a college semester. Of course, prices in Russia are very different. The main share of trading operations takes place on VKontakte. In groups, participants publish photographs of underwear on their bodies or neatly laid out on the sofa, and in the comments there are buyers who offer from 500 to 1000 rubles.
4.1% of our respondents named lingerie and stockings as their passions. Moreover, there were equally heterosexual women with bisexual women (who meant underwear on their partner) and homosexual women. Freund tried to justify his particular predilection for stockings on women with the help of the theory of disruption of the courtship process.
This process has four stages: attraction, intimacy, touching and sex itself.
Some people may get stuck at one of the stages, for example, becoming very aroused by the sight of stockings or lingerie while undressing their partner (the third stage according to Freund), and then they forget why the whole mess started in the first place.
Such a guess could explain the fetish of bisexual and homosexual women who wrote about lingerie and stockings in our survey. But she does not work with heterosexual girls who wrote about the excitement of stockings and lingerie on their bodies, as well as heterosexual girls who really like men in stockings.
How women's feet were perceived in old times/eras4
Women's feet and toes were carefully hidden from the eyes of men for a long period of time. It was strictly forbidden to demonstrate them, and a woman who did this received public censure.
Secular ladies in the 18th and 19th centuries boldly exposed their neckline, which was quite deep, but not their legs - they were carefully hidden under the hem of their dresses and in shoes. Most likely, foot fetishism developed from a ban on this part of the body. Men have always been attracted to what is prohibited, and the female foot quickly became an object of sexual attention.
However, even earlier, in the 10th century, the situation was different in China. Almost the whole world today knows about the kind of abuse that Chinese girls and young women had to endure - their feet were broken, twisted in the shape of a lotus, and heavily bandaged. The Chinese of the tenth century can be called real foot fetishists; they adored the small feet of women and played with them during sexual caresses.
The lotus foot was licked, caressed, taken completely into the mouth, kissed and touched during sexual intercourse, and brides with deformed feet were extremely popular. Fortunately, after some time the ladies’ torment was stopped.
Bareness of the legs first occurred in the Rococo era, when dresses became a little shorter, and the luxurious foot in stockings and a shoe became open to the gaze of men. At the same time, the special art of showing legs was born.
Renaissance painters showed women's legs in every possible way, admiring them. In the 20th century, the idea of feet as a beautiful and sexy object sharply arose, after which short skirts, dresses and bikinis came into fashion, and legs began to be demonstrated in every possible way by models and ordinary women.
Smells
The majority of women who talked about smell as a fetish (3.2% in total) mentioned the smell of sweat in their partner's armpits and groin. Klaus Wedekind, a professor of biology at the University of Lausanne, conducted a study and found that partner choice is associated with the major histocompatibility complex. This is a group of genes that encodes proteins responsible for recognizing genetically foreign substances and triggering an immune response to them. This complex affects the smell of a person. If a woman likes the smell of her partner’s body, then their MHCs are as different as possible.
Anthropologist Raphael Chax from the French National Center for Scientific Research says this is done so that the human baby receives two different sets of genes, and therefore is more protected from more viruses and bacteria. But the MHC factor does not work with all human populations. In the Chucks study, for example, partner choice in African couples was not correlated with MHC. And Wedekind showed in his work that the work of this group of genes can be changed by taking contraceptives - then the woman will choose a partner who is more similar to her MHC. But we are talking about fetishes, not reproductive responsibility. Why can smells be so stimulating?
Two erogenous sensory systems help a person of any gender smell sexual aromas: the olfactory system, which picks up “conscious” odors, such as apple strudel, and the vomeronasal system, which is responsible for the perception of pheromones (scientists do not yet have a consensus on human pheromones).
An experiment in which men watched pornography while wearing special pads under their armpits showed that the smell of the sweat of aroused men activated parts of the brain associated with emotions and sexual thoughts in women.
Recipes for home care for feet and heels
Foot baths, compresses and peeling are easy to make yourself using natural ingredients. We are happy to share the most effective recipes.
Foot baths
- Milk-soap bath . Fill a container with warm water at a comfortable temperature no higher than 40 degrees. Add half a liter of milk and a tablespoon of soap crumbs. Take a bath for about 15-20 minutes until the water cools down.
- Bath against profuse sweating . Brew 2 tea bags for every liter of water, wait until the temperature of the “tea” becomes comfortable and dip your feet in the resulting decoction. Black tea has the ability to tighten pores and also contains tannins that reduce sweating.
- Soda bath for corns . Dissolve 2 tbsp in water. spoons of baking soda and 1 tbsp. a spoonful of soap or shower gel. Take a bath for 15-20 minutes. The shower gel in this recipe can be replaced with sea salt, and you can also add your favorite essential oils.
- Lemon bath . Lemon juice destroys the stratum corneum of the skin and works as an acid peel. Dilute lemon juice with water in a ratio of 1:10. Add the resulting mixture to warm water and soak your feet for 10 minutes. Afterwards, rinse your skin with water to avoid drying out.
Home peeling
- Coffee peeling . Ground coffee is one of the main exfoliating ingredients in natural cosmetics. It improves blood circulation and also stimulates the production of collagen and elastin for renewed and firm skin. Mix 1 tbsp. spoon of coffee, 1 tbsp. a spoonful of cocoa and the same amount of cinnamon. Add 150 ml of any oil (olive, grape seed, macadamia) and tbsp. a spoonful of Dead Sea salt. Apply to skin with massaging movements, rinse after 10 minutes. If desired, you can use ready-made coffee scrub “Coffee Cocktail”.
- Classic salt peeling . Mix 50 gr. Dead Sea salt or Himalayan salt with 1 tbsp. spoon of olive oil. Add 5 drops of tea tree or lavender essential oil. Massage the mixture onto your feet and leave for a few minutes. Afterwards, rinse with warm water and apply cream.
- Kefir peeling . Heat 100 ml of kefir to 39 degrees, pour into a bag and lower your feet there for 2 hours. Afterwards, rinse off the residue with water and you can start sanding.
- Citrus peeling . Fruit acids perfectly soften rough skin and saturate it with vitamins. Any citrus fruits that you can find in the kitchen are suitable for peeling: orange, grapefruit, lemon, lime, tangerine. Grind a fruit weighing about 200 grams in a blender instead of peel and seeds. Add a sprig of finely chopped mint. Apply the mixture to rough areas of the skin and leave for 10 minutes, then rinse with water. Repeat acid peeling every week. The Slim Citrus mixture is also suitable for citrus peeling.
Foot compress
- Honey compress for the night . Mix a tablespoon of honey with 2 tablespoons of flour. Form a dense cake from the resulting mass and apply it to the steamed legs, covering the top with film. It is advisable to leave the compress overnight.
- Moisturizing compress with aloe juice . Mix aloe juice with onion juice and olive oil in equal proportions. Apply the mixture to your feet, cover with foil and go to bed.
- Softening compress with vinegar and glycerin . Glycerin is loved by cosmetologists for its ability to quickly heal wounds, moisturize and soften the skin. Mix 2 tbsp. tablespoons of pharmaceutical glycerin with an equal amount of 9% apple cider vinegar. Apply the solution to gauze and apply to areas of rough skin. Leave for several hours or overnight, covering with film and warm socks.
- Onion compress for rough skin on heels . For the recipe you only need one medium onion. Cut it in half, apply it to your heels and secure it with film and leave it overnight, putting socks on top. In the morning, throw away the onion, wash and file your heels.
Mask for feet and heels
- Nourishing potato mask . Mash the warm boiled potatoes with a fork and apply the resulting puree in a thick layer to your feet. Cover with cling film for half an hour, then rinse with warm water and apply your favorite cream.
- Moisturizing oatmeal mask . You will need 2 tbsp. spoons of oatmeal, 2 tbsp. spoons of olive oil and a spoonful of honey. Mix the ingredients thoroughly and apply to your feet. Cover with cling film and rinse with warm water after half an hour.
- Softening mask with semolina . Mix 2 tbsp. spoons of sea salt, 1 tbsp. spoon of honey, 1 tbsp. a spoonful of sour cream and half a glass of semolina. Apply the resulting mixture to your feet for 20 minutes, then rinse with warm water.
- Cleansing mask with Dead Sea salt . Mix Dead Sea salt and olive oil in equal quantities, add a teaspoon of cinnamon. Apply to skin with massaging movements, rinse after 10 minutes.
Intelligence
Women in our survey often (2.6%) wrote that they were turned on by intellectuals and obvious nerds like Sheldon Cooper. On the one hand, you can have a constructive dialogue and come to an agreement with a smart partner. That is, the mind can act as an invisible defense against the behavior “I’ll take you anyway, because I’m a man.”
To test the “intelligence as an advertisement for wonderful genes” hypothesis, scientists examined 425 Vietnam War veterans and found that smart men had better sperm quality: more sperm, they were more motile and their concentration was higher. That is, one sex with a smart guy can produce better offspring. Plus, the “prodigy” himself may turn out to be a worthy candidate for providing for a growing family, because in the era of Google, a shy programmer in flip-flops has a better chance of feeding his children than a brutal lumberjack.
But that explanation doesn't work for gay women, who in our survey said they were turned on by smart women. Maybe then it's all about interest? Smart people are the new “bad boys”; you won’t get bored with them, because there will always be something to talk about after sex.
How to Cleanse Rough Skin with Foot Baths
A relaxing foot bath with salt and oils is a complete spa treatment that you can do at home at any time. By following the instructions, you will soften rough skin, relieve fatigue and enjoy foot care.
First you need to fill a container with hot water at a comfortable temperature, about 37-39 degrees. Dissolve the bath mixture in it at the rate of 1 tablespoon for every liter of water. 15-20 minutes are enough to steam the skin. Don't keep your feet in the water for too long, otherwise the water will cool down and you will get the opposite effect.
After steaming, you can start working with a file, grater and pumice. There may be a lot of skin at first, don't let that worry you.
Finish the treatment with a relaxing foot massage. Stretch each foot separately, rubbing it from heel to toes and back. Rub and twist each finger. Press the edges of your foot several times. Apply precise pressure and rub your foot, moving through all areas from the heel to the toes. Massage the heel with circular movements and pinching. At the end, you can stroke it and twist your leg a little in the joint.
After such a massage, local blood circulation in the feet improves, fatigue and swelling go away, and the skin well absorbs all the beneficial substances from the oil or cream. At night, the body undergoes the most active regeneration, so we recommend performing the procedure before bed.
Footjob
Foot fetishism has also historically been reserved for men. So when 2.7% of the girls we surveyed admitted to having a foot fetish, we were surprised. A neuroscientist at the University of California at San Diego, Vileyanur Ramachandran, has an interesting theory about why people (men and women) may have a “stub” on their feet. He found that the areas of the brain that control leg movement are closely connected to the areas that control arousal. And he suggested that such a connection could explain foot fetishism. But this fetish can also be associated with a vivid experience from childhood (hello, Freud). One of the respondents wrote that at school she could not take her eyes off the geography teacher’s chiseled legs, but now her weakness for legs, unfortunately, does not resonate with her partners.
Famous foot fetishists3
There are a lot of foot fetishists among celebrities who do not hide their preferences, but, on the contrary, declare them to the world. These include Quentin Tarantino, who makes films rich in the theme of women’s legs: “Death Proof”, “Kill Bill” and even “Pulp Fiction”.
Quentin Tarantino
Marilyn Manson is also an admirer of women's legs. He himself did not declare his addiction, but his ex-girlfriend Jenna betrayed the famous rocker.
Marilyn Manson
Britney Spears once said in an interview that she likes it when men kiss her feet. Unusual foot fetishists include Andy Warhol and Big Boy, as well as Fyodor Dostoevsky, who described women's feet and toes in his novels.
Britney Spears
Andy Warhol
Big Boy
Fedor Dostoevsky
Dita Von Teese used this fetish to the fullest, and became a Burlesque star, and also wrote a book on this topic, “Burlesque and the Art of Seduction.” Elvis Presley, who massaged his mother's sore feet as a child, also became a foot fetishist.
Dita Von Teese
Elvis Presley
Famous fetishists also include Giacomo Casanova, Pharell Williams, Tommy Lee, and James Joyce. Fetishists can be writers, actors, directors and screenwriters, and in general, people of any kind of activity, but famous personalities most often do not hide their passion and declare it, but not openly, but in their creative works.
Giacomo Casanova
Pharell Williams
Tommy Lee
Sex in unusual places
2.5% of women shared that they are turned on by sex in unusual places or ordinary, but public ones. Some of them explained that they were aroused by the very risk of being heard or seen. And here there can be two emotions that include arousal.
Shame is like an intoxicant, but not a trigger for arousal. Moreover, this feeling will only work in the case of the association “shameful, but sexually pleasant” that developed in childhood. For example, if a child was spanked and the blows caused him erotic sensations.
The second feeling is danger. And here the sympathetic nervous system comes into play, which triggers the flight or fight response, followed by increased breathing, increased heart rate and a rush of blood to the muscles. The same system controls arousal and orgasm. Therefore, in dangerous situations, confusion of one reaction with another may occur. Research supports this theory. Canadian psychologists conducted an experiment: one group of women was forced to watch a travel film, and then turned on heteronormative porn; the second - they showed a video about amputation and then pornography. As a result, women from the second group were more aroused when watching an adult film, but in the survey they noted that they did not really want to have sex here and now.
What kind of legs were in the dream?
The correct interpretation of the dream depends on which legs were in your vision:
- without shoes - trouble awaits the sleeper in the near future. Perhaps one of the people he knows will try to harm his health.
- naked - relatives will begin to make negative claims against the dreamer.
- dirty, but wearing clean shoes - in order to cope with all the difficulties, the dreamer will need to make a lot of effort.
- dirty in unkempt shoes - many obstacles will arise on the way to the intended goal. Very soon a conflict will arise between a colleague at work, but the dreamer will be blamed for the quarrel.
- beautiful and slender - in real life, the sleeper is a very greedy person.
- swollen or sick - to illness and suffering.
- in blood and wounds - the dreamer has chosen the wrong path of development and will very soon lose support from close friends.
- covered with leeches - to problems in relations with management. The dreamer is not accepted in the team and is constantly belittled; his ideas are always used, but never thanked.
- dirty heels - it's time to change your plans for the future. Otherwise, the sleeper will have a poor life.
Should I talk about my fetish or not?
Some more statistics from our survey. We assumed that it would be doubly difficult for women to admit their fetishes. But 59.6% of respondents said that they easily presented this information to their partner. And 24.4% are ashamed, but still speak. And only 16.1% never talked about their sexual preferences. Considering that most girls like one or another BDSM practice, and the BDSM topic is increasingly shedding its stigma and turning into an erotic cult, then these data do not look surprising. But, for example, foot fetishists more often wrote that they had to overcome shame, and coprophiles never talked about their attraction at all.
Next, we asked participants who had never discussed their erotic hobbies with their partners why this was happening. 46.9% responded that they were afraid of being rejected, 44.9% were very ashamed of their fetish, and only 8.2% considered their fetish to be terrible.
But numbers that demonstrate the reaction of partners can cheer up those who are about to reveal their secret to their lover or mistress. In 46.6% of cases, partners have a normal attitude towards fetishes, which overrides anxiety about rejection. And 31.9% of partners generally sympathize with the fetishes of the participants.
If the numbers don’t reduce anxiety, but you still want to talk about your desires, then the first thing you need to do is rate your relationship on a safety scale. If you easily share your experiences and are not shy about showing emotions, and your partner accepts you, then the proposal for a new sex format most likely will not cause a negative reaction. Those who have a psychologist partner are also lucky, as in the series “Billions,” where a married couple plays BDSM, because the coach wife understands that this helps her husband take a psychological break from working as a prosecutor. If you have not yet formed a secure attachment and your partner has not yet seen any of your emotional manifestations, because you think that he is not ready for this, then you can slowly approach from afar.
In such a situation, watching the same “50 Shades of Gray” together may work. On the one hand, you can make fun of the decaying pop culture, on the other hand, you can discuss interesting games that you could try. Also, a good bonding exercise would be to discuss your sex life at certain times, agreeing on shore not to be offended or judge, and fines can be introduced for violating these rules. For example, every Thursday you lie down in the negotiation bed and tell them what you like and what you don’t and make your suggestions. This way, one day you will be able to talk about your fetish, plus you will strengthen your relationship. And it may also turn out that your partner also has “points.” A good illustration of such conversations can be the first short story in the film “Little Death”, in which he admits his sexual desire for legs, and she admits that she wants to be raped.
And if you find yourself on the other side of the fetish and hear that your partner wants to play father and daughter, remember that almost 50% of the girls from our survey overcome fear when talking about their desire. Imagine, you made up your mind and finally did what you dreamed of for 10 years, what kind of response would you like to receive? Praise, understanding of what you've been through, gratitude. This is what needs to be shown to a person who has just opened the door to the world of his fantasies. After this, you should ask yourself whether you like this game or not and answer honestly, trying not to ruin a person’s life. In any case, it will be good if you take time to think. Maybe something new isn't so scary after all?
What is the reason for the attraction of dirty feet?
- At one time, fetishists in England even had an elite and closed club for lovers of dirty feet. Young exotic dancers were invited to it. Getting there was considered a great success - smart and talented girls were often taken as kept women and pampered. Dirty or gilded feet are a real fetish in certain circles. Gold and dirt are identical according to Freud's interpretation. Accordingly, dirty female feet, especially if they are beautifully shaped, can drive you completely and irrevocably crazy. Why, for example, is mud fighting so popular, profitable and attractive, although admitting it is considered embarrassing? Why do the phrases “dirty girl” or “dirty dancing” attract money like a magnet? Perhaps Grandfather Freud is right and dirt and money are of a similar nature. Dirty feet in a dream mean that you are ready to get dirty.
- The second interpretation of dirty feet implies hard peasant labor on the land. This is kneading clay, trampling grapes. But for some reason these ordinary activities attract a crowd of fans. The recognized sex symbol of his time, Adriano Celentano, performed his greatest hit in a barrel of grapes and with hopelessly dirty feet. Dirty feet are a powerful sexual symbol, signifying animalistic “dirty” passion.
- Seeing dirty feet in a dream is a strong sensual sign. Just as good girls are often drawn to “bad boys,” sophisticated aristocrats are irresistibly drawn to “dirty girls.”
- The third meaning behind dirty feet in dreams is wanderlust. You are attracted to travel, new experiences, you do not need expensive hotels and chlorinated swimming pools. You are ready to stir up dirt in Cambodia, Cairo, Somalia, provided that you are treated with due respect. You might be able to gather on your heels a collection of grains of sand from all the beaches, deserts and mountain peaks of this world. You definitely need to go somewhere and relax a little, climbing mountain slopes or going down into caves. This is necessary simply so as not to destroy this world - you have enough strength for this. You shouldn't keep such power inside yourself. Let yourself go for a walk. Everything will work out in the best possible way.
