The amount of sex and the amount of hugging are two completely independent parameters in a relationship. Those who love sex have a lot and often of sex. Those who love each other always hug.
In general, the frequency of tactile contacts is considered one of the most objective indicators of a couple’s stability: if, after many years of living together, you still hold hands, hug each other and kiss each other on the cheek, walking from the bathroom to the kitchen, then you are still physically for each other attractive (despite possible problems with sex).
But when it’s the other way around, when you perform the required amount of friction every night, achieve orgasm, and then roll out to different ends of the bed (or even scatter to different bedrooms) - this is suspicious.
Sleep is a state when we are not able to play, pretend and perform rationally determined actions. And if you live together and sleep apart - what would that mean?
Clingy spoon
This pose is very similar to a regular “spoon”. The only difference is that one partner throws his hand over the other, as if sheltering him from all troubles. This says that there is a strong attachment between a man and a woman. Less often, only one of the partners experiences this feeling. In this case, the couple falls asleep in any other position, but wakes up in this particular position.
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"Escape" from relationships
Posture: A man unconsciously chooses the most unexpected positions throughout the night - from hanging from the bed to placing him at his feet.
What does it mean: A man’s chaotic night throwing around the bed can tell a woman about his unconscious desire to “get away” from an uncomfortable union. Perhaps in reality he suppresses his negative feelings, complaints and dissatisfaction with the relationship. It’s difficult for him to talk about it, but his body doesn’t know how to remain silent. Such dashes across the bed occur in those families where partners are accustomed to building relationships through pressure, manipulation, or willpower. If the state of things in mutual understanding is not corrected, the position of the bodies will turn out to be a warning signal of an imminent breakup.
Relaxing knot
The man and woman sleep with their backs to each other, and there is a decent distance between them. The position is characterized by the fact that people fall asleep in this position, but their feet are always touching. Experts say that this position is a sign of a strong relationship in which partners at first cannot do without each other, and then each stretch out in their own space. At the same time, a man and a woman respect, sincerely love, value each other, and trust their other half. Psychologists say that “in this couple there is a compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds.” Such relationships can rightfully be called ideal, but, unfortunately, they occur only in 8% of cases.
The benefits of cuddling sleep, from a scientific point of view
Scientists speak positively about co-sleeping between spouses or people in intimate relationships. Experts from the University of Pittsburgh (Pennsylvania, USA) noticed that sleeping together, especially if partners hug each other, affects cortisol levels, lowering it. This is a hormone responsible for the amount of inflammatory proteins in the human body that cause depression and autoimmune diseases. Sleeping in an embrace means taking care of your health, according to American scientists.
Their colleagues from North Carolina claim that if a couple sleeps cuddling, the level of oxytocin, the so-called cuddle hormone, increases in the blood. An increase in its concentration in our body causes complacency and a friendly attitude towards other people. Oxytocin also stabilizes the functioning of the nervous, circulatory and cardiovascular systems. Increasing the concentration of this hormone eliminates the signs of tachycardia and hypertension.
Watch the video: “What Sleeping Position Reveals About Your Relationship.”
The benefits of “hugs” have long been established and are not in doubt. This simple action has a number of positive consequences:
- Endorphins are produced, stress and anxiety levels decrease, and self-esteem increases.
- The immune system is strengthened and the healing process for existing diseases is accelerated.
- The specific content of hemoglobin in the blood increases, the functioning of the nervous system is normalized.
Hugging each other in dreams and in reality is undoubtedly useful. Unfortunately, in real life, relationships within a family are often far from ideal. Often spouses reveal all their hidden problems in the sleeping position. Sleeping positions will tell about your relationship no worse than a sincere verbal description.
Royal Hugs
The position when a woman's head lies on a man's chest speaks of complete trust and confidence in the relationship. In this case, the girl feels small, fragile and protected by her king. If a woman pulls her knees higher - taking the position of a fetus, then she subconsciously shows that she is completely dependent on her partner. If a girl stretches out her legs or throws one of them over a man, then she is quite capable of making independent decisions and not depending on anyone, but she still wants to be weak. Such relationships, according to experts, are quite harmonious, but one of the partners takes a leading role in them.
In a protective hollow
Pose: A man sleeps on his side with his legs bent, a hollow forms in his abdomen. The woman is comfortably positioned in it, also in a “half-embryo” position.
What does it mean: This arrangement of bodies indicates the dominant role of a man in a relationship, when he takes care of, cares for and protects his woman. By adopting this sleeping position, she experiences a sense of security, comfort and satisfaction in the relationship. Sometimes a man's hugs that are too close and overbearing can indicate his possessive and jealous nature.
Back to back
People who sleep close to each other but with their faces turned away want to be intimately connected, but at the same time value their own independence. Often this position can be found in new relationships that are not even six months old. Two people still feel comfortable and relaxed, without bothering themselves with thoughts about everyday problems. If such a position is observed in a family that has been established for quite some time, then it indicates that people completely trust each other, but they still lack their own space.
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Sleeping positions for couples and their meaning
The position of the sleeping spouses on the bed relative to each other shows the level of the relationship. Often, postures taken in sleep can reveal existing psychological problems. At the same time, while awake, the spouses themselves do not realize that so many negative moments have accumulated in their family life. The position of a sleeping person tells us about the manifestation of subconscious emotions and experiences.
In general, the location of the couple relative to themselves in a dream can be divided into the following subgroups:
- poses for lovers;
- provisions that speak of harmonious relationships in the family;
- poses telling about hidden problems.
How lovers sleep
The beginning of life together, the first months after the wedding or the decision to live together, are always accompanied by a deep emotional attachment between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t want to be apart even for a minute, I like to spend all my time together, this manifests itself even during the couple’s nightly rest. Newlyweds are characterized by positions with close contact between the parties, when contact with the partner occurs simultaneously at several points. There are several characteristic poses for lovers:
- stargazers;
- teaspoons;
- bonds of love.
Stargazers
A man and a woman are lying on their backs, the woman's head is comfortably pressed against her husband's forearm. The husband is resting in a calm and relaxed position, hugging his wife with one arm. This situation indicates a deep mutual attraction between the parties. Characteristic for the beginning of living together. A strong partner shows a sense of possessiveness and protectiveness to the weaker half, who, in turn, enjoys a feeling of security and peace.
Tea spoons
A comfortable and characteristic position for sleeping together at the beginning of married life. When one of the partners hugs his beloved from behind, repeating the contour of the other person’s body with his body, this means that the relationship between the parties is at the highest and closest level. The meaning of the desire to hug a sleeping spouse in this position can be interpreted as a manifestation of care and attention. This couple values their relationship and is working to make it even more harmonious.
Bonds of love
The two lie facing each other, and their legs are intertwined. This means that the couple experiences vivid feelings and emotions typical of people just starting their life together and family life. The position is not very comfortable and restricts movement during sleep, but this does not matter for young people. The main thing is together!
How do people whose relationships are built on mutual respect and harmony sleep?
These positions are often chosen by spouses who have already gone through the first period of life together. The intensity of passions and tenderness may have decreased somewhat. But this did not harm this couple's marriage or relationship in any way. They still love each other and complement their love passion with feelings of mutual respect and friendship. We wish all our readers to achieve such harmony, and the following poses are typical for such spouses to rest at night:
- back to back (Zen);
- let's talk (dialogue);
- lightly touching (point of contact);
- strong family (strong shoulder).
Watch the video: “10 paired sleeping positions and their meaning.”
Back to back
A man and a woman lie on their sides, their backs touching. Only partners who have gone a long way in life together and built a strong family can sleep together in this position. Each of them achieved the desired level of free space without causing damage to their other half. People completely trust each other, feel a reliable rear and the comfort of home. The marriage of spouses sleeping in this position has every chance of many years of successful continuation and development.
Let's talk
Those sleeping in this position look as if they are depicted in a funny picture. They were just talking, close to each other, and then they were already sleeping. This pose is typical of really close people, spouses who are a little lacking in family communication in everyday life. But at the same time, such a husband and wife are very close on a spiritual level, so they continue to “communicate” even in their sleep. This pose indicates the prevailing mutual understanding in the family.
Lightly touching
This position is typical for married couples who are moving from the stage of manifestation of the first passions to a new way of family life. They retain tenderness and love, but at the same time they want to have a little living space of their own to comprehend what they have lived and put their thoughts in order. The desire to touch a loved one in a dream indicates that this marriage is developing harmoniously and correctly.
A strong family
This pose perhaps best shows that everything is fine with the married couple. Relationships are based on strong mutual sympathy and trust. This is how happy spouses sleep. The desire to hug and not turn your back on your partner can only mean a feeling of deep affection and complete openness of the spouses to each other.
What poses indicate that there are problems in the family?
Not all marital relationships can be characterized as stable, aimed at achieving harmony in feelings and compromise in everyday life. Often, discord between husband and wife is expressed not only in its obvious manifestations: quarrels, arguments, etc., but is also reflected in the positions that a married couple takes in bed at night while sleeping. This position of sleeping people can serve as a signal that the parties need to make efforts to harmonize relations and eliminate accumulated problems. The most common sleeping positions here are:
- arbitrary pose;
- master;
- be with me;
- reclaiming space.
Free pose
If sleeping spouses do not want to hug or touch each other in a dream, this indicates that there are problems in the family. Emphasizes the presence of obvious or hidden differences in the position of the arms and legs. It could be:
- Closed (squeezed). This is evidence of subconscious protection, unwillingness to compromise and resentment towards your significant other.
- Open (free). This arrangement of the limbs suggests that in general everything is fine with the married couple, but they need a little personal space.
Master
When one of the spouses reclines in a comfortable position, involuntarily constraining the other in the comfort of a night's rest, this indicates that, in general, their family life is developing this way. One shows an overbearing, selfish beginning, the other comes to shrink and adapt to the “wants” of the partner. An embarrassed husband or wife feels unhappy and may seek solace outside of marriage. In such families, quarrels and scandals are common, and the innocent party often suffers.
Be with me
Repeats the position of teaspoons, only the partners are located at some distance from each other. In general, this sleeping position does not directly signal problems in the family. Perhaps the couple is moving to another stage of their life together. The period of violent passions is behind us, a calm and wide family road lies ahead. But spouses move at different speeds; one is already ready for more personal space, while the other is just beginning to get used to the new stage of the relationship.
Conqueror
This is a very dynamic position for a sleeping husband and wife. They constantly move around the bed, with one trying to move further away, the other pursuing, moving closer to the “fugitive”. This may indicate that the couple is going through a period of quarrel or some kind of disagreement. One of the spouses seeks to smooth out differences and restore warm relations within the marital union. The other, on the contrary, is not yet ready to move on to peaceful coexistence.
Entanglement
This position is found in new couples who not only have a pleasant time with each other, but have actually experienced the bright feeling of love. An intimate position suggests that a man and a woman cannot breathe enough of their partner. They constantly miss each other - they want to spend all their time alone. If such a position is observed in a long-term relationship, then it shows the strong dependence of the man on the woman, and vice versa.
How poses change over the years
Relationships in a couple cannot remain unchanged throughout life. The sleeping positions they prefer change accordingly. Such changes do not always indicate a cooling of relations; they move to a new level. If couples just starting their life together and going through a romantic period fall asleep hugging each other, then they can start sleeping in the “Spoon” position, which is no less affectionate, but emphasizes the need for partners for each other. Later, the couple may sleep back to back, but still maintain the need for contact. Partners move away only in the event of discord, passion and desire to touch each other.
Legs intertwined
A woman and a man sleeping facing each other, lightly hugging their partner, and intertwining their legs, most likely have been in a relationship for quite some time. But at the same time, both constantly lack a soulmate in an intimate sense. These people are comfortable together; there is trust, mutual understanding and passion between them. The only thing that is not enough in this relationship is everyday care for each other.
On your side, stretched out
On your side, with your whole body stretched out - legs straight, arms straight and lying along your sides. At first glance, this position does not seem particularly comfortable, but according to statistics, 15% of sleepers instinctively choose it: this is the second most common position. Although a person sleeping in this position gives the impression of being inflexible, as if stiff, psychological research shows that people who sleep in this position are very sociable, kind, loyal and tolerant. They know how to find a common language with a variety of people, even those who are completely different from them. These people are very gullible, so much so that they are often deceived.
Free flight
The man and woman sleep facing away from each other, at a great distance, and there is no touching in the position. Most likely this couple has been together for at least 7 years. From a psychological point of view, these relationships are very strong and trusting. Yes, the first fervor passed, but sincere love, true friendship, affection and care for each other remained. But these are precisely the criteria necessary for a strong family. Such people are interested in being together, they can talk about everything in the world, and have no secrets from each other. The only thing experts advise such people is to try a change of environment in order to revive their former passion.
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Anxious positions when sleeping together
Often, a conflict has not yet manifested itself in a relationship, but the positions in which the partners sleep will tell about its maturation.
- Newlyweds do not sleep in each other's arms. On the contrary, one of them tries to lie down on his territory. It’s worth thinking about whether the marriage was a mistake and whether he loves you as he said.
- A posture with your back to your partner, often bending over the edge of the bed, indicates distrust or resentment. With strong hostility, an arm or leg may be dangling, showing that there is a desire to run away and not be near a once loved one.
- A sudden change in posture to a cooler one.
At the first sign of such changes, you need to urgently take action to save the relationships that are dear to you.
Insomnia that appears in one of the partners will hint at problems in the relationship. Obviously something is bothering him. Perhaps a conflict is brewing that can be extinguished with the help of a confidential conversation.
You may be interested in knowing what position you should sleep in and how body position during sleep affects human health.
A person takes postures in a dream subconsciously. He tries to find a position in which he will be comfortable, cozy, calm. If your partner found peace in your arms and woke up in them, you can talk about mutual love and great happiness. Moving away in a dream will be the first sign of a cooling relationship. You should look for the possibility of maintaining them or stopping them (perhaps they were a mistake).
Who should consider sleeping in separate beds at night?
Anyone whose sleep is interrupted by their partner. Maybe some of you snore heavily. Or he constantly tosses and turns in his sleep. Or you have different sleep patterns, which is why one is trying to fall asleep while the other is pouring tea and watching a movie on the laptop. Perhaps some of you work and get up early with an alarm clock. Or vice versa, he works late and comes at night. Not to mention gases, which are extremely harmful to tolerate and even impossible at night.
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If you have a newborn who needs overnight care, sleeping together can be detrimental to your relationship, but sleeping apart can actually bring you closer together.
Is it normal to sleep separately?
"It's important for couples to realize that we spend about a third of our lives sleeping," says Wendy Troxel, Ph.D., author of Sharing a Bed: Every Couple's Guide to Better Sleep. “It’s a big part of your existence together.”
There's absolutely nothing wrong with falling asleep in different places—experts agree that historically, people have placed too much emphasis on sharing a bed with lovers.
"Choosing to sleep alone isn't that different from choosing to do other things alone," says W. Chris Winter, MD, a men's sleep health consultant. “If you want to run together, great, but if one of you prefers to run in the morning and the other in the evening, that's fine too.”
What if I hug a pillow or blanket in my sleep?
This is not a specific sleep position—some people hug a pillow or blanket before falling asleep and then resume their normal sleeping position. And some people never hug a pillow at all and can’t even imagine why it might be needed. What does this say about the character? Everything is obvious: you love intimacy, close contact - both physical, tactile, and mental. You like to touch those you love: hug, kiss, stroke the head, hold their hand. This is how you feel happy. You also like to be in touch with your loved ones on an emotional level: mutually share interests, take care, spend a lot of time together. You love to feel closely connected to people and the world.
Starfish pose
The rarest sleeping position is “starfish”: on your back with your arms and legs spread out to the sides. This is a comfortable, but very original position that requires a lot of space to sleep. Psychologists believe that people who take this position in a dream value friendship above all else in life - reliable, faithful, sincere. They have a talent for listening: with endless interest, sympathy and love, they listen to other people’s complaints, grievances, confessions, and at the same time they always try to help somehow. In love, they are magnanimous and generous: they do not manipulate, do not take revenge, do not take it out on their partner, do not try to raise their self-esteem at his expense, remain faithful, trust themselves - and are very rarely jealous.
