And there is no such thing as a simple rest when it comes back, breaks into your routine and interferes with your plans. Exes always find a reason, and again something tightens in the chest, nostalgia appears, and a woman can no longer get the banal “ex-boyfriend” out of her head, even if she saw him in a dream. A dream about sex with an ex is interpreted in different ways, but somewhere in the middle and between the lines, everyone will find a suitable answer for themselves. The only thing that will remain unchanged is that he will always be so, despite dreams and all the little things.
Vanga's dream book: maybe it's fate?i
Vanga's dream book does not exaggerate what is happening through rose-colored glasses. It is said that if a young girl has a dream involving an esque boyfriend, she should not rush to recreate hopes of returning the loss. Such dreams can appear after a chance meeting or watching a film where the plot is similar to the life principles of former lovers.
The subconscious mind says that there were still positive moments, and you can sometimes miss them. Is a reunion imminent? Not at all, it’s just that men, even in their dreams, come at the wrong time.
Dreaming about sex with an ex according to Vanga also foreshadows a meeting - somewhere to cross paths in the subway or cafe. It will not be planned, so it is not worth holding a 3-hour marathon every day for such an “inevitable” event.
Just sex, no strings attached
An ideal and painless option. You both treat this like physical training. Why not? Moreover, if this physical exercise will benefit both of you. However, such sex is not suitable for every couple. For example, if one of you still has feelings, this threatens repeated disappointment in the opposite sex.
Try to admit to yourself as honestly as possible that all feelings are gone and only physical attraction remains. Otherwise, you will again have to get out of the stage of hard drinking, depression, and chaotic adventures (everyone has their own methods here).
Set a place and time to meet, reminisce about old times, and after sex, shake hands with your friend and go back to your business. If there is at least 1% that you will begin to imagine common children after this sex, do not even think about planning this meeting.
Dream book according to Freud - clear and modern2
Freud always noted the ability of people's subconscious to fantasize at a level that is not yet able to distinguish between reality and reality from fantasies and thoughts “in advance.” The founder of psychoanalysis saw sexual overtones in everything. This means that it is already clear that someone will be pleased to identify themselves with thoughts about “they remember me, they haven’t forgotten me and they want me.”
And this is also a misconception. Such intimate dreams threaten a quarrel with your current loved one, but not out of nowhere. If a girl sees passionate sex, wants to hook a young man and share what she saw, she can seriously suffer - lose the trust of her current admirer.
If the conversation gets heated, the new lover will demand an explanation. The girl's demand is her dream, in which she takes part. This means that either thoughts about the ex are constant, or the variable impact of some incident does not allow one to forget about him. In any case, it seems that the missus is not as mentally faithful as she would like.
Revenge of the current passion7
Have you quarreled with your current partner? Did you find out about his betrayal? It's time to dial the old number and take revenge on the cheater in absentia. Of course, the current relationship will come to a final and irrevocable end, but sweet revenge is worth it. It is possible that this relationship will end, but sex between you will continue. This isn't the first time, right?
Only you have the right to decide what to do, but such revenge is a very low action that you will regret (with a 99% probability) when you regain your common sense and get rid of your ardor and anger. Remember, the boomerang rule has not been canceled.
Loff's dream book: get ready for battle3
It talks about real troubles and adventures. If an adult woman had a dream about sex with her ex, you should be on alert. Dreams indicate the appearance of an enemy on the horizon, difficulties in business and more. A young girl must be on alert - she may be offended, her moral traits of behavior offended, or morally humiliated.
However, if a former MCH confesses his love in a dream, it means that the lady will soon meet her betrothed. Such a dream can also mean an addiction to rash actions, when a woman ceases to be the mistress of her body.
Loff's dream book foreshadows interesting meetings if a young girl saw her ex in a dream with his new passion. The sex that happened between them suggests that it’s time for her to let him go and forget.
In the new life, things will go uphill, and paradise will come to the family, peace will reign.
Details: sensations
The Dream Book from A to Z, explaining why such a plot is dreamed of, focuses on the feelings of the sleeping person himself. So, feel in a dream:
- joy - broadcasts about a sudden quarrel with your soulmate;
- sadness, repentance - indicates the presence of a secret that can ruin the connection with the chosen one;
- disgust - identified with negative emotions towards a former lover;
- pain, violence - warns of the negative impact of an ex-lover on your life;
- passion, temptation - foreshadows intimate adventures, new love.
In his dream book, Dr. Freud connects the interpretation of a dream with the unfulfilled sexual desires of a sleeping person. An erotic dream interpreter heralds the jealousy of a current lover, explaining why one dreams of making love with an ex-boyfriend.
Esotericists interpret the dreamed episode from a positive point of view, indicating great progress in sexual terms. However, as the esoteric dream book informs, the dreamer does not appreciate this at all.
Miller's Dream Book 4
Miller believes that when a person from a past life appears in a dream, this can lead to negative consequences. The conflict between the future and the past is touched upon: a crossing of possible events and their development occurs, temporary clashes appear that connect the past and the present.
At the same time, according to Miller, one can determine the fate of a person. A young girl had a dream about sex with her ex, which means that she will only be happy with someone who is similar in appearance or character to him. For an adult lady, a meeting with her ex-husband promises trouble - respiratory problems, constant apathy, depression.
This is due to nostalgia and pity for lost time. When adults mentally meet in the other world, an invisible connection arises. It can become a reality in the form of a meeting, a conversation, a collision at a crosswalk on the street, and more.
The days of the week when the dream occurred also play a special role. A woman or girl should carefully monitor the color scheme of dreams, the nature of the dream - hard, bright, full of emotions.
Typically, this is felt when you are in the liminal space, rather than awake.
They promised mountains of gold9
It’s one thing when the desire comes from you, and you understand exactly what the outcome will be after that meeting. Another thing is when a partner behaves in a “love-buy” style, then everything can turn out unexpectedly. The first option: the person really realized what he had lost and is ready to make any sacrifice.
Second: he simply doesn’t have enough sex, and he uses any means to achieve his goal. The paradox is that it is not immediately possible to recognize this. In this case, you need to rely on intuition and your inner voice - it is almost impossible to predict the actions of another person.
Tuesday: attempt in a new role6
When you dream on a Tuesday night, your ex-boyfriend is present, which means he loves you, but only wants the best. The girl's new role should be better than before. Then she will be able to meet a new life partner. If we talk about connection, then there is none - mentally and morally he supports her, does not want and does not say nasty things behind her back.
Such relationships are called “remained friends” despite the lack of communication. A girl can easily finish what she started, but a man remains so if he recognizes and understands the girl’s decision. Therefore, this kind of relationship will always be strong even after years.
Tuesday also predicts a new role for the lady. If she sees a dream with the participation of her ex-husband, it means that soon a worthy person will appear in her life with whom she will start a family. It won’t be strong, but that won’t put problems in the forefront. Persons of principle who are ready to challenge fate must understand that marriage and life together are just an illusion; and there can be quarrels in it, both in reality and in a dream.
Not strangers8
You can write this phrase on your forehead and wonder every day why you can’t build a relationship with someone else.
At a moment of despair and loneliness, when thoughts about finding a life partner enter your head, you find a simpler solution to the problem - call your ex-passion and receive imaginary love from her for the night.
“Why, we’re not strangers!” - you may exclaim. Formally this is true, but in reality you need to let go of everything old in order to start new things. This is an unspoken law of nature that operates regardless of your awareness.
Will the grave fix the hunchback?11
Here one can observe a complete or partial absence of female logic.
This is where self-deception, fear of being alone and illusions come into play. There is a risk of remaining imprisoned by these feelings if you start to think rationally.
The psychologist is convinced that you cannot step into the same river twice, unless both consider the breakdown of the relationship to be a misunderstanding for the stupidest reason. If the separation occurred for good reasons, these reasons have been brewing for a long time and have pretty much ruined your life, then breaking off the connection was the only right decision. Is it worth spending your life again on gluing hopeless cracks?
No matter how hard you try to reunite everything, the cracks will not go away, and the temporary surroundings will sooner or later fade. Everything will return to normal, but life will teach a cruel lesson. Obviously, the problems will not go away. It is very stupid to believe that sex (even very good) will change everything. Previously, this could not be changed for a long time, why did you decide that this could be done now?
Become a better person
The first step to seducing your ex-boyfriend starts with you. There is always room for improvement in life, and this in turn makes you feel happier and more attractive. One of the most compelling qualities a person can have is the ability to take control of their life, achieve goals, have self-confidence, and live each day to the fullest.
You can start today by going to the gym where you can work on getting the body of your dreams. You can focus on personal projects and work, spend time with friends and family, have fun and try new things. Do whatever you need to do to feel more confident.
When you feel good about yourself, you exude confidence, and nothing turns a man on like a self-sufficient woman.
Write to your ex
Is it good to write to your ex-husband that you want sex? It depends on how it ended. If after the breakup the passions have calmed down and you can already talk to each other as friends, then you can simply invite them for a cup of coffee. If you need an excuse, say that you're thinking about renovating something in your home and would like to hear his opinion.
If you haven't been in contact since the breakup, or if you've used the no contact rule, you'll have to ask something that your ex will want to answer. It could be something funny and light-hearted, like a picture of something you've seen or read. Or something like: “You'll never guess who I ran into today!”
You can also refer to a shared memory by saying something like, “Remember that time we went to my brother's wedding and almost fell into the lake?” If you want to immediately hint at sex, you can remember a place where something intimate happened between you, otherwise any good memory will do.
If you want to seduce your ex-boyfriend or husband, keep the conversation very short.
Don’t delay so that he suddenly has a good association that will stay with him for a long time: “So she was thinking about me...”
Send a few light-hearted messages before you actually ask to meet. You can start flirting more aggressively or more ambiguously to keep things on the edge of your seat. Say: “I will be very glad to see you...”
I want to return it back
We all know that men are highly motivated by sex, so why not use that to your advantage? Seduction is a huge part of any relationship and is the catalyst that brings two people together. The resulting attraction, like a magnet, can be used to attract your ex back.
It should be noted that seduction and attraction are not only based on physical things. Of course the physical aspect is important, but there is a big mental and emotional part that cannot be neglected!
Rare sex: psychologists have named the reasons for the breakdown of intimate life in marriage
I'm afraid to change!
Many people mistakenly think that this applies only to couples with a lot of experience: they say, over the years of marriage, bed affection is not the main thing.
- It's a delusion! — says psychologist Alina Kolesova. — It is not uncommon to meet experienced spouses who enjoy physical love, regardless of their “length of service” in the family front and age. Just like young couples who seem to be doing well, but sex looks like a boring “obligatory program”.
Today, according to statistics, the emphasis has shifted: men more often do not strive for intimacy. And this happens not only here, but all over the world. For example, according to a British sociological survey, 62% of men aged 25 to 55 refuse sex more often than their life partners, and 42% make love only once every two weeks. But no matter which of the two “sabotages” marital sex, the biggest mistake is to bashfully bury your head in the sand, because sexual dissatisfaction can destroy an otherwise wonderful marriage. Everyone's sexual temperament is naturally different, but in loving couples the difference, as a rule, is leveled out. And a man and a woman with polarly different sexual constitutions, on which temperament depends, do not converge at all. Therefore, in an established pair of people without health problems, both the male and female “no” always have their own reason. Having found out, the situation can be corrected.
The two revelations below—one for women and one for men—contain indications of the most common reasons for not wanting sex.
Having met Anton, I noticed that sex is not in the first place for him,” says 27-year-old Karina. “I even liked it: at that time I was tired of the disappointments when, after a short affair, it turned out that men only needed sex from me. We got married, and for the first year of our marriage, sex happened regularly, a couple of times a week. The second year it turned into a couple times a month - and then I told my husband that I wanted more. Anton replied that we simply have different temperaments in this sense. To this I suggested that he go to a sexologist - after all, he is only 32, why such a low temperament?! He agreed and went...
And since then our intimate life has completely gone wrong! It seems that now Anton is afraid that I am expecting something special from him. More and more often he fails. We both get upset because of this, we worry, our lives are spoiled, and this is very disappointing: after all, otherwise we have everything to be happy! Friends advise: they say, take a lover purely for the sake of the body and calm down. But I don't want to go down this path!
— Women could be more tactful! - believes 47-year-old Sergei, married for the second time and, according to him, happy with everything in his married life... except for his wife’s attitude towards sex. — Modern ladies have read that a woman should want sex - supposedly this turns a man on. And now they don’t hesitate to say: honey, we haven’t had anything for 5 days, what happened?.. At least that’s what my wife does. Well, what should I explain to her?
Probably, since I don’t make any attempt to make love to her, I just don’t feel like it. Why should we immediately assume betrayal or impotence? Why can't I just be tired or not feel well? Why do women think that all men are soulless sex robots who only think about sex? And only they can evade marital responsibilities for reasons like “I’m not in shape today”? Sometimes the weather has a bad effect on me, and sometimes I just don’t want to! Maybe I’m in a mood where I just want to be stroked on the head, and not vigorously get into my pants?..
“It is unusual for an emotionally and physically healthy person to refuse sex,” emphasizes psychologist Alina Kolesova. “But if this does happen, it means that either a current “inconsistency” that you simply don’t know about, or a past trauma, is working against you.
Photo: still from the film
According to psychologists and sexologists, the key to the emergence of sexual desire in a woman is the feeling of being a woman. And in the literal, primitive sense of the word - a female. And a man has a feeling of being a man, a male. Because it is the primitive state that turns on the basic instinct, and alluvial states caused by the surrounding civilization often turn it off - and for men and women in different ways. That is, due to the same circumstances, this desire may intensify for ladies, while for gentlemen it may disappear altogether - and vice versa.
What are these circumstances?
Force majeure critical, periodic nature
External stress (problems at work or with children, any objective difficulties).
F : a woman overwhelmed by emotions has no time for intimacy - due to the characteristics of the female psyche, she simply cannot mentally separate carnal pleasures from solving current problems. Even if she agrees to have sex under pressure from a man, there will be little joy from this. And the whole point is that now a woman feels not like a woman in the erotic sense of the word, but a caring mother (daughter, relative, employee, etc.). And this is not a state in which she is able to receive pleasure from physical love - and give it to her partner too.
M : For a man experiencing external stress, the opposite is true. The more he is concerned about current problems, the greater the intimate desire - due to the nature of the male body, in the stronger sex, stress and emotional tension are best relieved by sex. It is physical love that allows a man during this period to temporarily throw out of his head thoughts about solving current problems. The reason is that during a difficult period, a man feels like a man in the most literal, primitive sense: a protector, a warrior - and a male.
Summary : in a married couple whose children are ill or have financial problems, there is temporary sexual incompatibility. Equally going through a difficult period, the husband will want intimacy more often than in “peaceful” times, and the wife will begin to suspect him of callousness and cynicism. But if you know and understand the reasons for this incompatibility, then it will only be temporary. In case of external stress, it is better for the wife to show understanding and meet her husband halfway.
Internal stress (off-season, weather changes, melancholy, etc.).
F : in contrast to external stress, when the head is filled with problems, fatigue and causeless bad mood increase a woman’s desire for intimacy. Because during such periods she physically needs a man’s shoulder, warmth, support - and in other words, she feels like a woman, weak, dependent.
M : but in men in a state of decline in physical and mental strength, libido, on the contrary, disappears completely. For the simple reason that in such a state he does not feel his physical strength, does not feel the fullness of his strength and capabilities - and therefore does not feel like a man in the physiological sense of the word.
Summary : spouses who are exhausted from hard work or who have fallen into autumn depression have very little chance of understanding each other in bed. After all, a wife, according to her feminine nature, will want male warmth, affection and the intimacy that flows from it, and a tired man, by virtue of his nature, will want to quickly restore his strength - that is, eat and go to bed. And again, it is better for the wife to show understanding - anyway, one cannot expect high-quality marital duty from the tired head of the family.
Scandals within the couple (on any topic other than money: finances are a different story).
F : after a quarrel, a woman not only doesn’t want sex, she even hates to imagine that the offender will touch her - at least until he apologizes and the relationship is cleared up. This is female nature: if a partner has hurt a woman, then she does not want to touch him - even if the incident seems to have already been resolved. This is an unconscious expression of mistrust inherent in female nature, manifested at the tactile level - in the form of rejection of bodily contacts.
M : But the husband, who immediately after the scandal tries to lure his wife into bed, is not at all a sadistic maniac - this is how he puts up with her! In male nature there is a physical understanding of the world with a woman - and it is expressed precisely in intimate caresses. This means that the man asks for forgiveness and signals that the conflict is over. But even if the husband still has resentment after the scandal, he will be sexually active. The fact is that aggression and sexuality have a common nature and energy, which can be expressed both in a flash of anger and in a love attack. And if the husband was not allowed to speak out in a scandal, he must develop this energy through sexual intercourse.
Summary : in this case, the man will have to meet the female state halfway - so as not to develop an aversion to sex in his wife on a subconscious level. If there is a scandal between you on an important (at least for one of the parties) issue, the best thing is not to exchange it for “bad peace in bed,” but pull yourself together and find out everything that you consider necessary. Any showdown does not bring joy to a normal person, but the main thing in it is to come to a consensus, and it is better to relieve stress from an unpleasant conversation with any physical activity other than sex - the gym, jogging, cycling, walking in the fresh air...
Money feuds as a separate topic in family showdowns.
F : unlike scandals on any other topic, family battles on the topic of finances, on the contrary, give rise to physical desire in a woman. Because, demanding more money from a man, she feels like a woman in the literal, literal and primitive sense - a female waiting for the male to bring prey.
Photo: Gennady Cherkasov
M : but, alas, a man who regularly receives “primitive” claims from his life partner has no time for sex - even if he pretends that his beloved’s claims do not bother him. If he often has to think about the money the family lives on, and if there are problems with money, then worry about the future - even on a subconscious level - crowds out everything else, including lust for his wife. In addition, he gets the feeling that he does not meet the expectations of his woman - and therefore cannot be considered a full-fledged man and male. Those most susceptible to “financial impotence” are responsible men who take their role as breadwinners very seriously.
Summary : in this case, a woman can correct the situation - just don’t push the issue of lack of money. However, there is an interesting fact established by Western social psychologists: if financial difficulties did not happen to a person personally, but in the outside world (the collapse of a company, a crisis at the state level, etc.), then they increase men’s desire to have sex. And all because at this moment the same male awakens in a man, surviving in unfavorable conditions.
Ordinary household work
Habitual rituals and surroundings.
F : this situation for a woman means stability and security, in which, as her ancient instinct tells her, she can calmly perform her main function - and therefore feel like a woman in the literal sense. Thus, in a familiar home environment, a woman more often wants intimacy.
M : but the man is the opposite. In “peaceful” times (in a calm and familiar environment), the primitive male warrior falls asleep in it, and he can simply be lazy to have sex.
Summary : in this situation, a woman should under no circumstances follow a man’s lead! Sometimes husbands simply become unaccustomed to sex because they rarely engage in it. Moreover, many men believe that this is absolutely normal - they simply stop feeling like men and forget this condition. But this is very harmful for both physical and psychological health. Therefore, wives must insist - both by changing the environment, and even by creating the illusion of “non-peaceful time” in their husbands. For example, awaken violent jealousy and a wounded sense of ownership in your dormant male.
Preoccupation with family or work problems.
F : if the family has, for example, children, grandchildren and household members who require care, and the woman acts as the main female authority, then she does not want any sex. And she won’t want to - until she stops feeling like a queen mother. Since this female state contradicts the state of a true woman in its most ancient meaning - in need of protection and waiting for affection. Interestingly, if a woman is a boss at work, where subordinates and wards look to her for advice and management, this does not negatively affect her libido at home.
M : but a man in the role of head of a clan (whether family or industrial) in any case feels like a master and a male. In such a state, a man wants sex, even despite all his workload - this is how the call of his ancestors speaks to him. It is not for nothing that all the peoples of the world relied on the leader to have all the best, including women. Power and status arouse desire in a man because these are the signs that make him a successful male.
Summary : in this case, the wife definitely gives in - that is, she obediently responds to men’s calls. It is more important for a woman to be loved and desired than to be the only support of the family. Moreover, from such a “concession” the bonus is obvious: the husband to whom you gave up the “crown” will delight you in bed.
Priorities and goals.
F : a dissertation that a wife writes, devoting all her thoughts to it, will in no way prevent her from wanting her husband. Even if a woman’s attention is focused on her career, this does not reduce her desire for intimacy with her loved one. It’s just that work (especially creative work) on a subconscious level does not prevent a woman from feeling like that very primitive wife - after all, she, too, did not sit idle.
Photo: still from the film
M : But men, on the contrary, are very sensitive to changes in priorities. A husband, immersed in the same dissertation, may completely forget about his wife. By nature, a man, unlike a woman, tends to focus on one general goal, rather than being scattered among many small ones. This applies not only to work, but also to family life. After the birth of their first child, many young fathers refuse sex with his mother - but not because she has become less attractive, but because of a change in status and purpose. If before his wife was simply his lover, now she is the mother of his child. And the couple’s priority goals have changed: they were lovers - they became parents.
Visual unattractiveness.
F : A wife may not want sex with her husband of 15 years of marriage... because she is embarrassed about her body! And dissatisfaction with her appearance generally prevents her from achieving that very state of a true woman, capable of experiencing and inspiring lust. It’s hard for a husband to imagine that his wife, with a long history of married life, is avoiding him today, because yesterday she stepped on the scale and discovered extra pounds... And now she expects to lose weight in a week so that by the weekend she will blow away her sweetheart! It is interesting that after a couple of years, women get so used to their husband that they stop noticing the shortcomings of his appearance: the husband becomes like family to them, regardless of what he looks like.
M : however, women’s fears no longer seem in vain if you know that a man subconsciously continues to “love with his eyes” until the end of his days. Of course, an extra wrinkle or a pimple will not turn him away from the woman he loves, but if the wife has changed in general (she has gained weight, abandoned some self-care procedures, or, conversely, radically changed her image), then even the most loving husband will continue to love her as a faithful comrade, but lust can be redirected to the side.
Summary : the reason is that every man has his own personal “hooks” in a woman’s appearance, which he regularly pecks at. And if he chose one of them for a long time, and then cooled off completely, it means that exactly that “hook” has disappeared. Maybe it was a thin waist, which is gone now, or maybe some specific features of appearance that the wife did not hesitate to correct in order to please the generally accepted canons of perfection - for example, she changed the shape of her nose, and he fell in love with her precisely for her snub nose! It is not for nothing that since ancient times all nationalities had their own formal signs of female beauty - for example, specially drawn out earlobes or tiny feet of Chinese women, neck rings on padongs, etc. At the same time, these signs of appearance were designed to protect their women from gentlemen from other ethnic groups, making them unattractive in appearance to strangers. Simply put, what attracts one man may repel another - and vice versa. The same lush breasts, although trendy, actually excite not all men. And the only criterion common to all men in the world when choosing a woman is her health and agreeableness, for it is these qualities that have ensured reproductive success and healthy offspring for men for millions of years.
